venus and mars... something to argue

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn'tneed.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets ahusband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets awife.
A successful man is one who makes more money thanhis wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him alot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lotand not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, butmarried men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, buthe doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won'tchange, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of anew argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTINGMARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, pokingme in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You'renext." They stopped after I started doing the samething to them at funerals.

FOR A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND
FOR THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.